Preparations

     Christmas is only a few weeks away and Ophelia and I have managed to sell off a few things.  Ebay and Craigslist are our main avenues of selling, but this economic climate has made it difficult to catch a fair price for our stuff.  It seems as if everyone is selling and very few are buying.  Those that are buying are making a killing.  I am not bitter about that though as this whole ordeal has given me a new perspective on life.  This recession or more accurately, depression, has taught me that material possessions do not make one successful, happy and whole.  I have spent the last few years foolishly believing that acquiring material things fulfilled me in some way or another.  I had basically given up on my dreams by laboring at a job I had never really enjoyed just to accumulate more crap and have an overpriced one-bedroom condo to keep it all in.  My possessions had possessed me and now I can admit that fact and start anew by letting go of it all.      If it wasn’t for this trip I think I would just give all this crap away.  There are those who are in far worse shape than Ophelia and I and it would fill my heart with joy to donate it all.  Christmas time tends to make me want to extend a helping hand to those in need, but I do want to take this trip and I must be selfish in order to make it happen.  It is a shot at freedom for the both of us, a freedom that will give us each a better sense of self and purpose.  That is my hope as I want both of us to find out who we are before committing to marriage.  I do not want to marry someone just for the sake of doing what everyone perceives as the natural order of things and I do not want to settle for a life that does not fulfill me.  I had settled for a mundane life though and had put my dreams on hold for a woman and a salary.  I do love Ophelia, but the beliefs we have about what is important in life differs considerably.  My hope is that we both find an answer that will make us truly happy and content no matter if it means an end to our relationship or not.
     I once believed I had a handle on that, but somewhere along the line I let go.  I compromised is what I did.  I let my dreams slip wayside as my duties and pay increased.  I had never planned on being an engine rebuilder when I took the job as a parts driver.  I had no interest in horsepower or torque and I certainly had no interest in wrenching-it for the rest of my life.  I took the job as I was broke and all I wanted to do was earn enough money to hit the road again.  I moved up quickly in the company though and it wasn’t long before I settled on just traveling for two weeks a year.  The extra pay did allow me to attend some literature and art classes at the local college and I was happy with all that for a little while.

Background on the Hostel Environment

     It has been quite some time since I felt good about anything.  The last couple of years have been a struggle for Ophelia and I and this trip is something we desperately need in order to preserve our sanity and keep us from hating one another.  It has just about come to that point.  I am very surprised that we made it this far without killing each other, but I believe the auction notice could have been the last straw if it hadn’t been for that Freudian slip of mine.  I am grateful that Ophelia took a liking to this hostel environment experiment.  Although my motives for this trip are purely self-serving, I really do believe that Ophelia will benefit greatly from this experience.  Both of us will and for once in a long while, I feel good and hopeful of the future.       I met Ophelia about seven years ago in a pub in Seattle.  I was there on vacation with some friends as was she.  The remarkable thing about that was the fact that the both of us resided in Orange County.  We had a wonderful romance in the Emerald city and decided to see each other on a regular basis when we returned home.  We dated a bit before getting engaged and eventually we bought a little condo together.  I wish I could say that all had been perfect like a fairytale come true, but we had our share of fights and spats over ridiculous things like so many other couples tend to have and we went about our lives relatively happy.  Then the economy took a shit and everything became a struggle and we began to rip each other apart at every turn.
      Work had fallen off for the both of us and I was eventually let go since no one was really buying rebuilt engines anymore or anything else for that matter.  Ophelia saw a cut in her pay and hours and it is just a matter of time before she is let go as well.  The repossession of our vehicles, the mounting debt, the looming foreclosure and my inability to find work have all added to our stress and has strained our relationship beyond measure.  The fights between us have grown exponentially over our plight and the appearance of the auction notice could have sent us over the edge if it hadn’t been for the introduction of the hostel environment experiment; an experiment that gave us a moment of hope and peace as we sat down to outline all the aspects of this trip to make it a reality.
      Making some money is our top priority of course.  I have a little saved up from my unemployment benefits as I had stopped paying the mortgage and the homeowners’ association dues.  We had gotten behind with them and our credit cards and the late charges and fees had all mounted up so quickly that it made it impossible to catch up.  When we lost our vehicles we had to pay cash for a used one; cash that was intended for the mortgage or HOA dues or credit card bills and something more pressing was always popping up to divert money away from those bills that needed to be paid.  A new water heater was needed at one point and had to be paid for in cash as our cards were maxed out.  The rising gas prices had also caused us to miss payments which in turn added more fees and late charges to an already bloated debt.  So I stopped making some payments as it was stupid to pay for something that we will eventually lose.
      The savings that I have will barely get one of us a round trip airline ticket and of course we need two as well as enough money to roam Europe for at least six weeks.  Ophelia and I began by taking inventory of all the stuff that we could sell in order to pay for the trip.  Most of it is crap that at one point we believed was important as it gave us the illusion that we were successful and well put together.  I am as much to blame for the accumulation of these material things as I wanted to feel successful and I wanted others to see and think that about me as well.  I had gotten caught up in the acquisition of things that really didn’t matter to me.  I was a grease monkey and the only things I really needed to make me happy were hot showers, the HD big screen, the Wii, my recliner and a steady supply of dubeage.  I could care less for the crystal stemware, espresso machine, furniture wine racks, goose-down pillows and comforter or the myriad of other crap that Ophelia and I constantly bought and brought home.
      It is nice to have nice things, but it made me lose track of myself and the things that really mattered in this world.  I can understand Ophelia’s perspective as she was raised quite differently than me.  Her parents are wealthy and she is used to having the finer things in life.  Of course they are very tight with their money and give her almost zero financial support.  It is for her benefit though.  Her father wanted to teach her a thing or two about self-reliance.  I could agree with that logic, but it is my belief that the man is just a prick and has never approved of her decisions, especially hooking up with this blue-collar Mexican Jew.  I believe that her parents are hoping that this mess we find ourselves in will mean the end of our relationship.  That is why they haven’t offered any support in our time of need.

Formulation of the Hostel Environment Experiment

     The creation of this blog is just one of many acts of a selfish man.  This must be distinctly understood as I am that selfish soul and nothing good can come of this if I were not honest with you or myself.  It all began a few nights ago when my fiancée Ophelia and I were about to eat another Ramen noodle dinner.  We had gotten into yet another argument over our financial situation earlier that evening and we had just started to calm our nerves when a knock on the door roused our already anxious state.  A knock on the door is a dreadful sound when one is in debt.  We had stood frozen; awaiting the second rap to compel us to move, but all had remained silent until Ophelia finally exclaimed, “Oh for fuck’s sake,” as she moved to the front door of our little condo.  Taped to the door was a notice announcing the details of an auction that involved our home.  This of course was cause for another argument.  Frustration and despair had gotten the better of me and in the middle of this heated yelling match I let slip the dream of leaving everything behind for the open road.  Ophelia’s rage intensified with that outburst of mine and the only recourse I had in alleviating her agitated state and our situation was to include her in my dream of traveling somewhere far, far away.      Now I stated before that I am a selfish man and I wanted that fact to be understood completely for it is I who inadvertently put forth the idea of abandoning all for the road and it is I who formulated the rules governing this idea and it is also I who convinced my fiancée to agree upon its implementation.  I must now explain this idea and the rules that Ophelia and I have agreed to follow and how all this really serves me and my interests.  The idea or plan is for us to travel to London together where we will separate and forge our own paths in order to re-evaluate our relationship and our lives in general.  One might call this a test of our relationship and I would agree, but it is more than that.  Ophelia and I have already gone through some rough times due to the failing economy and that would have been enough to test any relationship, but we also need some time apart in a new environment to rid ourselves of all the stress and anxiety and fighting that threatens our future together.  Funding for this experiment will be limited obviously, so our accommodations will be restricted to youth hostels.  We do hope to have enough dough saved up to travel around Europe for at least six weeks and as the rules stipulate, we cannot contact one another for the duration of the trip, unless of course it is a matter of life and death.
     So how does all this serve me?  For one, I get the chance to indulge in my desire to travel, second, I get the chance to pause a moment to re-examine my life and relationship with Ophelia and thirdly, I get the chance to write about it.  Writing and traveling are my passions in life and this trip will give me the opportunity to combine the two to fulfill my aspirations of being an itinerant novelist.  Not to mention my desire to share the emotional ups and downs I will certainly face on the road as I contemplate my relationship with Ophelia and an unknown future.  These are the reasons behind the creation of this blog.  It is simply my attempt at revitalizing my passions by documenting this experiment in “real time” via this blog and other social networking sites.  It is my intent to be truthful about all that I do and see and feel and think in order to provide the reader with an honest account of my travels and the hostel environment.  I will be documenting this endeavor without Ophelia’s knowledge and I know there are those of you out there who believe this to be foolish as she is sure to catch wind of it, but it is a risk I am willing to take.

Preface to Hostel Environment

I have decided to post excerpts from my ebook, Hostel Environment: Tales of the Barefoot Backpacker since the first twenty percent is free on Smashwords. I'll begin with the preface of the ebook.

This is neither a novel nor a book, but rather a journal as the contents are really just the ramblings, observations and thoughts of a lone traveler’s experiences in the hostel environment.  These “field-notes” were resurrected as a blog after a few years of lying dormant in a box full of memories.  It was out of necessity that this journal saw the light of day again.  I had no intention of posting excerpts from the journal on the web, but I had no choice in the matter.  The original blog was meant to be a “real time” account of an experiment that my fiancée and I had agreed upon implementing.  The experiment is a test really.  A “relationship” test if you will.  The plan is for both of us to fly to London together and then go our separate ways in an attempt to re-evaluate the direction of our relationship.  We had already been through some rough times due to the failing economy and that would have been enough to test any relationship, but we also need some time apart in a new environment to rid ourselves of all the stress and anxiety and fighting that threatens our future together.  I am going to document this experiment, without her knowledge mind you, as I roam across Europe via the network of hostels that pepper the continent.  I began a blog to share our struggles and to introduce the solution we came up with, but its debut was a bit premature.  Thusly, I had to post excerpts from my past travel and hostel experiences in order to please those who had begun following my blog.  I couldn’t very well leave them high and dry.  Not after recounting all our troubles and certainly not after I had opened up about who we are and the circumstances that led to our decision to leave it all behind to re-examine our relationship and our lives in general.  I suppose when our departure time arrives I will begin documenting that journey via the blog or it could become the second part of this book or journal as I like to call it.  I will begin this book with excerpts from the blog that brought Tales of the Barefoot Backpacker to light.  Enjoy!

The Old Man

It's hard filling the hours when unemployed and the new adventure is still in the distance. Writing is the only creative activity that keeps me from going nuts. I could just get high and watch the tube, but I'd rather not. So, I here submit a poem (not really a poem, just some dribble in the same format as a poem) that I have penned to keep me sane and away from the pipe. It is called The Old Man. It has nothing to do with travel or hostels, but what the hell.

I saw him just the other day
Driving a Ford Thunderbird
A red sixty-seven
I've seen him a lot lately
Even dreamt about him

I strolled into a diner

And there he stood
Old with white scruff on his face
He said he was sorry he left
Couldn't handle it at home
He had to get away

I said I wasn't angry

Just glad to see him
He smiled
I smiled
We said our farewells

I am angry though

Not for me
For the family
In any case, it was nice to see him

Twenty years have past

Since I saw the old man last
Laying so peaceful
Head resting on a blue satin pillow
Colorless hands placed on his chest
A golden angel pinned
On his Sundays best

She made me look
I didn't want to
I wanted to remember the man
With color and life in his face

 I am angry though

Angry for the family mostly
It's nice to dream of him
That makes the anger subside a bit

I must explain the purpose of this blog for newcomers and for those who had followed my posts previously. My fiancee and I are leaving shortly for London where we will separate and forge our own paths across England and Europe to re-evaluate our relationship. Postponements in this plan had caused me to post excerpts from my travel journals of previous trips to satisfy followers of my blog. I have since combined all those blog posts into an ebook which I have for sell on Smashwords.com. My hope is that you continue to follow my blog posts which will soon contain the "Hostel Environment" experiment that my fiancee and I agreed on implementing. My ebook is a rather enjoyable read and is very informative on solo travel via youth hostels. I welcome any comments and tips you may have accumalated in your travels. Thank you and safe travels.